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Tranacript[]

Part 1[]

  • Delivery Man: Here ya go!
  • Squidward: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
  • [hands him the clipboard]
  • Delivery Man: Thank you, Mr... mmm... "Tennisballs."
  • Squidward: [winces, then scowls] That's Tentacles!

Part 2[]

  • Patrick: Hmmm. 'Property of Squidward... Tentpoles.'
  • Squidward: That's Tennisballs... de-derr, Tentacles!

Part 3[]

  • Patrick: Don't worry, Squidward, I know how much you wanted to win, so I had the trophy engraved to you.
  • Squidward: Gosh, Patrick, thanks.
  • [reads the engraving]
  • Squidward: The 1st Place Snail Racing Cup Presented to Squidward...
  • [we see the engraving and the camera zooms in on Squidward's misspelled last name]
  • Squidward: ...Tortellini?! Will I ever win?
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